Are you f***ing serious???


Get Your Cadaver Bags Here

Only CraigsList could stun us with this one. Because the tragedy in Haiti isn’t enough, some wanker is trying to profitĀ  from it by selling 2,000 body bags. We especially love how they suggest you could use these as sleeping bags. Yeah, a sleep you never wake up from.

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Overeating can now also double as exercise

We know it’s been awhile since we last brought you some of the most mundane and inane sites found on the internet, but we are back in action now. So let the nonsense commence.

Knife and Fork LiftNow there is no excuse why any of you little piggies out there who like to gorge yourselves on crap food can’t exercise while you eat. Thanks to the geniuses over at Knife and Fork Lift have added 1.5 pound dumbbells to their cutlery to maximize the burn while you eat. We can just hear your trainer shouting at you, “Eat faster, feel the burn!” We guess this won’t help you fast food addicts where the food requires no need for cutlery just a big mouth.



How to Get the Junk in Your Trunk

big booty 2If you are desperately seeking a bigger booty like J Lo or Kim Kardashian or just want to help maintain that junk in your trunk and you have already tried the Wiccan Big Booty Spell with little to no results, never fear, just order yourself up The Big Booty in a Bottle on Ebay. How this works we have no idea so please consult a doctor before trying or better yet a psychiatrist.



Sex Aid or Double Chin Eraser – You Decide

neckline slimmerWe don’t know about you but we LOVE those insanely inane products that pop up late at night on the old boob tube. The latest one to make us sit up and take notice is the Neckline Slimmer. Seriously, what moron came up with this neck pump that comes with an instructional DVD because apparently assisted nodding is not self-explanatory? Actually, a pretty smart moron who will be rolling in idiots’ money, that’s who! We’re just waiting for the plethora of Larry H. Parker whiplash lawsuits to start hitting the courts but then again, who would actually go on public record admitting to buying one of these or better yet you could always use this as a sex aid when giving blowjobs.



Gives New Meaning to a Shit Present

enema jewelryLooking for the perfect present for your proctologist? Want to proudly display that you are a qualified colonic therapist? Then head on over here to pickup for yourself or a loved oneĀ  an enema bag trinket in your choice of sterling silver, bronze or copper because nothing says loving like a miniature metal enema kit complete with a bronzed booty.



Porn for the blind!

porn-for-the-blindJust because you can’t see, doesn’t mean you should feel like you can’t get your fair share of nookie. Leave it to some clever fellas to help the plight of the sightless by offering free audio descriptions of some blue movies. Frankly, we don’t think it’s much of a turn on to hear all about the hairy guys waiting for a big busted beauty to get on the bus but still it’s another great service for the handicapped.



Remedial Ass Wiping

asswipeFinally, an ass wipe for all you ass wipes out there. We are guessing that a certain section of the population (i.e. really fat asses) were having problems wiping their bums on the toilet, thus, The Comfort Wipe was born! It’s touted to be the greatest improvement made in the toilet paper industry since the 1880’s! Why do we have a feeling that the inventor of this arm extender has a bit of OCD issue!