Are you f***ing serious???

Overeating can now also double as exercise

We know it’s been awhile since we last brought you some of the most mundane and inane sites found on the internet, but we are back in action now. So let the nonsense commence.

Knife and Fork LiftNow there is no excuse why any of you little piggies out there who like to gorge yourselves on crap food can’t exercise while you eat. Thanks to the geniuses over at Knife and Fork Lift have added 1.5 pound dumbbells to their cutlery to maximize the burn while you eat. We can just hear your trainer shouting at you, “Eat faster, feel the burn!” We guess this won’t help you fast food addicts where the food requires no need for cutlery just a big mouth.


The Ultimate Party Shoe

bottle-opener-heelsWe think this might just make quite a few straight men start donning some platforms when they go to football games or for a boys night out. Say hello to the Bottle Opener Heels! Girls, we’re pretty sure your guys will be taking you out with them more often just so they know where the opener is. This could revolutionize the stripper industry, no need for a bartender any more with these puppies. That idea gives a whole new meaning to table service.

Crop Circle Cereal Anyone?

crop circle cerealIt was bound to happen eventually. Why not attempt to capitalize on those pesky crop circles that are thought to be aliens hot-rodding the earth in their UFOs. You can’t blame these guys for trying to make a business plan that revolves around Crop Circle Cereal. Think about it, it’s kind of environmentally friendly since they have figured out a way to reuse those ET-kissed crops that are ruined. What next alien probe PEZ dispensers?

Drunk Shoe Shopping

rollasoleThere aren’t many times that we are found speechless at a novelty item but this has to be classed up there with the iPod as one of the best inventions of the 21st century. Rollasole! What is Rollasole you might ask? Well, they are rolled up cute flats that are sold in vending machines at clubs in the UK thus preventing drunken heel accidents. Women around the world rejoice!

Remedial Ass Wiping

asswipeFinally, an ass wipe for all you ass wipes out there. We are guessing that a certain section of the population (i.e. really fat asses) were having problems wiping their bums on the toilet, thus, The Comfort Wipe was born! It’s touted to be the greatest improvement made in the toilet paper industry since the 1880’s! Why do we have a feeling that the inventor of this arm extender has a bit of OCD issue!

Every Christian’s Must Have Item

jesus lip balmBet you thought we would say it was a Bible but oh no. You won’t gain entrance into those pearly gates without some Jesus Lip Balm! Becuase who doesn’t want to look their best for the almighty!!!

Banana guards???

3 out of 3 doctors recommend the banana guardLittle Johnny is going to get himself beaten up on the playground if he cracks out one of these. Sure, it’s a “why didn’t we think of that” idea but are there really that many bananas each day getting roughed up that they need their own security team and lest we mention it’s striking resemblance to a sex toy.  And in case you are worried about your other fruit products such as apples, there is also the handy dandy Froot Guard too! But as you can see, 3 out of 3 doctors recommend packing a Banana Guard every day.