Are you f***ing serious???


Earth Angel, The Environmentally Friendly Vibrator

earth angel green vibratorThe world has finally gone insane. Political correctness and environmentalism have gone too far with the introduction of the hand cranked Earth Angel vibrator. It looks like something from the Victorian era and should come with a warning sticker that says: “Caution: User might require actual foreplay prior to use.” After all it takes eight minutes of hand cranking to get this sucker buzzing!



Sex Aid or Double Chin Eraser – You Decide

neckline slimmerWe don’t know about you but we LOVE those insanely inane products that pop up late at night on the old boob tube. The latest one to make us sit up and take notice is the Neckline Slimmer. Seriously, what moron came up with this neck pump that comes with an instructional DVD because apparently assisted nodding is not self-explanatory? Actually, a pretty smart moron who will be rolling in idiots’ money, that’s who! We’re just waiting for the plethora of Larry H. Parker whiplash lawsuits to start hitting the courts but then again, who would actually go on public record admitting to buying one of these or better yet you could always use this as a sex aid when giving blowjobs.



Sex Toys on a Budget

Dog Sex ToyIn these hard financial times, why should your sex life have to suffer? So get your kinky self down to the 99 Cents Store and use a little imagination and we bet you can equip your boudoir with a few of these handy dandy items to spice things up while you wait to win the lottery. And if you want to splurge and get Fido something too, check out the Hot Doll for Dogs as pictured here. Further proof that cats will always be the more dignified pet to own!