Are you f***ing serious???


Overeating can now also double as exercise

We know it’s been awhile since we last brought you some of the most mundane and inane sites found on the internet, but we are back in action now. So let the nonsense commence.

Knife and Fork LiftNow there is no excuse why any of you little piggies out there who like to gorge yourselves on crap food can’t exercise while you eat. Thanks to the geniuses over at Knife and Fork Lift have added 1.5 pound dumbbells to their cutlery to maximize the burn while you eat. We can just hear your trainer shouting at you, “Eat faster, feel the burn!” We guess this won’t help you fast food addicts where the food requires no need for cutlery just a big mouth.

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How to Get the Junk in Your Trunk

big booty 2If you are desperately seeking a bigger booty like J Lo or Kim Kardashian or just want to help maintain that junk in your trunk and you have already tried the Wiccan Big Booty Spell with little to no results, never fear, just order yourself up The Big Booty in a Bottle on Ebay. How this works we have no idea so please consult a doctor before trying or better yet a psychiatrist.



Fine Art My Ass

Jabba The Hutt Star WarsThose sci-fi geeks really do go too far some times. Check out this guy who is selling a “Jabba Fine Art Print” over on Etsy. Apparently, MOMA is missing out on one of the masterpieces of modern art by not displaying this monumental piece of Star Wars inspired genius. Yes that really is a giant slug like alien puking and by all accounts it sells like hotcakes.



Call the SPCA and PETA ASAP!!!

Snuggie for DogsWe, personally, blame Paris Hilton for this one. What with her dressed up chihuahua, Tinkerbell, in all of those fancy tiaras and tutus. But seriously, what is the f**king difference between a normal dog coat and the Snuggie for Dogs, apart from other dogs will be laughing their asses off at these poor suckers because let’s face it the Snuggie is merely a cape with blankets!!!! This just reassures our thought that cats are the more dignified pet choice, just as long as it isn’t Hello Kitty.



Earth Angel, The Environmentally Friendly Vibrator

earth angel green vibratorThe world has finally gone insane. Political correctness and environmentalism have gone too far with the introduction of the hand cranked Earth Angel vibrator. It looks like something from the Victorian era and should come with a warning sticker that says: “Caution: User might require actual foreplay prior to use.” After all it takes eight minutes of hand cranking to get this sucker buzzing!



The Ultimate Party Shoe

bottle-opener-heelsWe think this might just make quite a few straight men start donning some platforms when they go to football games or for a boys night out. Say hello to the Bottle Opener Heels! Girls, we’re pretty sure your guys will be taking you out with them more often just so they know where the opener is. This could revolutionize the stripper industry, no need for a bartender any more with these puppies. That idea gives a whole new meaning to table service.



WTF!!! What kind of stuffed animal is this?

kistengopherNot even Richard Ramirez or John Wayne Gacy could come up with a stuffed animal like this one. We are assuming it’s a tribute to Fritz the Cat but seriously, what kind of sick f*** comes up with a cuddly self-fellating cat! And then has the balls to charge $50 for it! Seriously, you need to check out the link to see it in all its horror. We actually hate to admit it but this makes Hello Kitty look appealing.